I want to know what others are thinking, I sat for a whole 10 minutes wondering and thinking what everyone else is thinking and what was going on in their head.
So let me know now by replying here every so often.
Monday, 10 November 2008
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Well, I am thinking about a guy who abandoned his boyfried more than a year ago. He had fallen in love with another guy, who is a straight guy, so it's clear that it was damned from the beginning on. After nine months of depression he got through it. Half a year later he began to chat with another guy, who appeared very intresting to him. At the very beginning it seemed as they will get along. He wanted to know a lot from him, because normally he understands the feelings and the way people act very well. But unfortunately he needs to talk to people to learn about the way their minds are working, but he rarely got a reply from that guy. He became angry because nothing came back, even not a: "Sorry, I don't feel like talking right now." It was hard, because he tried to understand him. Wasn't that the wish of the other one? To have someone who cares about him, likes him? He said that all day long, but did nothing when someone was really longing for his attention.
ReplyDeleteApart from that, the guy thought that he fell in love with that guy, although he was so quiet. As he told it the other one, that guy said that you can't fall in love with someone you don't know.
Well that might be true for him, but it is not universally valid for the rest. For most humans it doesn't make any differance whether they know someone for long or not, they fall in love with someone on account of a word that someone said or on account of something that this one was or is doing. Normally people fall in love with a person they do not know very long, because when they get to know each other, the person is much more interesting than all the others and when he or she has traits of character being fascinating, then the chemical process starts that gives us the feeling of being in love. Actually, it is completely wrong, because we ignore the bad traits that this person might have.
There is a feeling that could be discribed as the "light version" of being in love: enthusiasm. Or schwärmerei.
Due to some real mean things he said, the silent lovely boy quit writing to him. He was sad then and asking hisself what went wrong. The first point was that he told him he had begun falling in love with him. Because it was not more than enthusiasm. But what more? He decided to stop writing to him, because the boy said that it becomes to intense for him.
But why didn't he say that before it became too intense? was the question circling in his head. Before they stopped writing he tried to get some help in a forum to learn how to deal with the disorder of the lovely guy. But as the people there answered it was already to late. Some months later he wrote him again, hoping that the lovely guy will give him another chance. But he didn't. Since that day he tries to find out why. What did he so wrong that he is ignored completely now? He was thinking about the the way love appears. It is so great that it can open up a whole new world when you get to know someone and begin to love him, but that great feeling has a high price, a dark side. The great feeling turns into a bad one when this whole world is collapsing, caused by a mistake you did or the other one. That's it, every relationship you start with others makes you vulnerable because of giving away a part of your soul. With every new person we get to know we have to decide whether we take the risk or whether we refuse to do so.
All he wanted to know is what is happening in the mind of that lovely guy, but he couldn't tell, or he refused. Anyway, it doesn't change the regret he feels for not getting another chance.
I'm really sorry Michael.