The end is closer the you think

I can't deal with this anymore. And whats more you do not understand, you pretend to, you listen but you can never really understand what it is like to be me.

My head hurts, my heart hurts.

I feel anxious, restless, uptight, there's things going round in my head. I feel ALONE. I feel depressed beyond what I can handle.

I'm a waste of space, pointless, and no likes me, no one cares, they say they do, but when you really need them, they are never there. This night has been one of great and final loneliness. I cant begin to tell you how much pain I'm in right now, that of loneliness and total exclusion and confusion.

I'm a disappointment to everyone, family and friends, everyone. I truly wish I was normal. I wish I could be like all of you. I wish I could not have the same conversations day in and day out about sports, politics and "how about that weather huh?"

But I can't. I'm me. I'm damaged goods, I cant help how I am. You agree, then you just forget and expect me to behave like you do, I cant, I don't understand you.

Sure you'll see this note and say Michael's the crazy one. Go ahead, call me the weirdo like everyone else surely will.

Then, return to your happiness of everyday mindless monotony.

See you in heaven sometime soon, drop by, call up and say Hi how you doing, but then you'll never come see me in Heaven, why should you when you couldn't when I was on earth.

May you live your remainder in peace.

Mum, Dad, James, Lauren, Rico and Alfie, Clive, Matt, Jason, Kieran... Everyone. Goodbye. I love you all in my clumsy, dysfunctional, awkward way.